I dun understand
OK..by now, u will b tinking y the title of tis entry is "I dun understand"..it's actually regarding my parents..
Juz now in the car, i had a slight nose bleed. My hands is stained wif blood, so no way i was able to open my bag and take out the tissues. So i asked my mum, :"Ma..got tissue anot?" she din reply..engrossed bout something..so i ask my dad whose driving:" Pa, hand me the tissue in front leh"..no reply..i look at my sis, "They cannot hear me ah?" my sis turn over and say :" Can't u c they r engrossed in listening to the 4D numbers on radio?".. i din believe, so i call my mum again, louder tis time :"Ma, got tissue? nose bleed."
To my surprise, she turned over and shot me the dirtiest look i ever saw on her face. Like i was disturbing her majorly over a minute issue. Ok..i admit, nose bleed is no big deal. But is there a need for such a dirty look. She turned over, shot me the dirtiest look and said:" Can't u shut up? Cannot c i listening to 4D ah?" she said in a cold stoney voice..and she turned back in her seat, listening further into the voice of the DJ announcing the numbers. After she was done wif her cold words, my dad started:" Cannot c we r busy ah? Cannot tissue from ur bag meh?"..again in his irritated and stoney voice..
HOnestly, i m used to such comments..i haf been hearing since i was little..they dun hurt me anymore..wat hurt me most was wat happened later in the house.
My sis and i came down the car first so my dad say we go up the house first. They will join us later. As usual, listening to 4D in the car..so we went hm. 5 min later, the house door opened to welcome a pair of fuming parents. I was, again in the line of fire for disturbing them in the car.
Ma:" Can u stop behaving like a 3 yr old? Din u c we were paying attention to something really impt in the car?"<
Pa: " Uni already, still acting like a kid. Dunno how to bring ur own tissue out izzit?wat r ur hands for? study so much for wat?"
I kept quiet thru out the scolding. There r so many things i wanted to shoot back and i noe it will shut them up..but i juz din wanna make things look even uglier...
My parents.. 2 university graduates.. wat happened to the parents who used to sit wif me discuss bout worldly events? wat happened to the parents we tell me bout chinese literature and poetry? i dunno..mayb aliens took them. Return them to me pls. COmmunication between me and my parents r failing. We can't even tok 3 sentences straight without one of us ending the conversation fuming.
Ever since my dad retired from being a secondary school teacher 2 yrs ago...both of them haf been totally engrossed in 4D and Toto. Not that i mind my parents having a try at the game of luck. But betting almost 100++ bucks each time and 3 times a week? NOw i look at them, i juz wanna luff. How they used to pass ugly remarks on lowly educated pple and how they nid to rely on luck instead of their brains to earn money. Now who's doing it? The house is running on my dad's CPF funds. It's gonna get depleted one day. Ask a 5yr old, he will noe. My university educated parents dun seem to b noticing eh?
I dun nid my parents to go back into the corporate world if they dun like it. I juz wan them to be more motivated bout leading a fulfilling life. Of coz, betting on 4D and Toto is not wrong. But not like tt..open their mouth, it's numbers. close their mouths, it's numbers. I start to even feel suffocated at hm. My mum blame me for not making the effort to communicate wif them. R u sure wat u r tokking bout, ma?
I m sick of trying to tok to my parents. It's tiring, it's demoralising, it's depressing. I rather my parents resume their strict self, scolding me as a useless brat or a daughter not worth of their care and money...i rather i get scolded for such reasons..then getting scolded for disrupting their 4D listening..it hurts so much...
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