Brain fried and dried

Just woke up..hahahaha..and before u say "WHY SLP UNTIL SO LATE THEN WAKE UP?!"...lemme tell u i selpt only at 6.30am and woke up ard 10am...and now i m in this empty mode...hahahaha

No la..not studying..was doing the final scorings for a class of THIRTY NINE people..and tt means THIRTY NINE files of original scorings and THIRTY NINE files of point deductions..so i did bout 78 files wif bout 6 spreadsheets in the first original scorings and 1 spreadsheet for the point deduction. Madness. My prof only sent in the adjusted scores in on Saturday evening and man! Am I glad to tell the whole world..."I GOT IT DONE BY 6AM ON MONDAY MORNING!!!!!" and pls..i did not only do tis..i oso finished my econometrics tutorial and CAT project assigned dataset hor....

My prof sent me back an email saying I was efficient and he could foresee me quite an excellent human resource once I start working...

Erm..i dunno if i shld b happy to hear tis...coz i m trading my health for this..hahhaa..I actually felt tis tightening of muscle ard my heart chambers while doing the reports..of coz I cant tell my parents..they make a big hoo haa and i can forget bout staying up late to do work. And for my time schedule of BE and my part time job, I have to stay up late to do work..haiz Is it worth it i dunno

My CAT grp had a yr 4 gal and she said tt SMU totally has ruined her health. Her health just went down after being Yr 1 in SMU..i kinda agree...though JC was quite bad..I din actually hafta work tis hard and so late in the nite..late nite studying ends only at 1.30am and nv went more than tt. Hmmm........

I went to visit my grandpa yesterday evening. He has been placed in a home for bout...5 mths already i tink..during my last term's exam period...he remembers none of us and he lost a lot of weight. His eyes no longer haf expectations. They are just 2 hollows staring back at us.

I remember how ah gong had deteriorated over the years. From an energetic elderly man who jogs every morning, to someone who nids a walking stick, eventually wheelchair, followed by being bedridden and not remembering anyone..all it took was 5 yrs...and looking back, he hasn't yet spoken a word since he started using the walking stick....

While I was holding his hands yesterday and repeatedly telling him who I was, wat's my name..i dunno..i just suddenly din feel rite.

The thick wrinkled hand I was holding was the very hand that brought up 6 kids...5 boys and 1 girl..and who was the on who visited him the most? My mum, the only gal. The eldest son had refused to foot the bill, leaving my housewife mum and the youngest brother to foot it...

Sometimes i wonder if my grandpa had known tt one day he would lying on the cold hard bed in a room of elder people, would he have cherished his days wif my grandma and family more.

My grandpa was a sailor-turned-businessman..my mum said they weren't exceptionally rich, but they always got pretty good food..Worked vv hard and was bout to enjoy the joy having grandchildren surrounding him,disease had to strike him.

My mum always tell me how important health is, so does my grand-aunt, who part-time brought me up and the only one who always disagree wif my theory of "working urself very hard is the best way to answer to urself"..whenever we go visiting ah gong together, she will always tell me, "u c..u always As are important, having a lot of money is important, but u c ah gong, u tink at this stage, he will still b tinking bout all these?"

My mum always tell me no matter how rich or how powerful u r, everyone is equal in the eys of death and illness..yes,rich people can haf medicine to prolong their lives..but prolong wat kind of life? A life plagued wif pain and illness? Or a life prolonged and u noe u can nv do anything until u fully recover?

My family doctor (another one who's been wif me since I was a baby) says the same thing..without health, even if there's 1000 opportunties laid ahead of u, u oso cannot do..besides u r not well, how do u expect to fully utilise the chance?<

I dunno..sometimes health just dun seem vv impt to me, mayb coz I haven't really lose it..I nearly lost it, becoz of asthma and a bottle of contaminated yakult when I was 4..hhhaa..i rem my mum told me, when she carry me back from the Ma-ma shop, I was all pale. She was on the phone calling my family doctor when my elder sis went up to her and told her I wasn't breathing anymore. I guess it did freaked her out like crazy.

I remember how I always promise myself I will take care of myself whenever i fall sick..and when I am well and active, I forgot all bout it. Flaws of human beings.<

Gosh...i just spent like 20 min writing a blog entry..gosh...nid to go liao..hahahaa..later got class..and I m still in empty mode..hahha..

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