Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
What I know now at 29
Timely article - 5 months and 1 day away from my 29th birthday!
What I know now at 29
As I get ready to enter the final year of my 20s, I decided to write out what I know now that I didn't know when I entered this delicate decade.
1. If we are smart, we start to realize that not everything in life needs our commentary or opinion. I have less opinions now at 29 than I did at 20, when I entered this precious decade. I personally view that as a sign of growth.
2. All the times people tell you that you can't eat at 29 the way you are eating at 22 without gaining weight? They aren't lying. Your "fast metabolism" ain't so fast after four years of goldfish for breakfast.
3. If you are lucky, your mom and dad will still be around. If you are really lucky, you will find yourself closer to them than ever before. If you are the luckiest of all, they will be the two most precious people in your life.
4. Every year, you will realize more and more that being at a club isn't as fun as you convince yourself it is.
5. Eventually, the most fun nights will be the ones with your loved ones in PJs, or at home with friends and family, a bottle of wine and maybe even their baby.
6. I find myself looking back at all the times I called 29-year-olds "old" and 30+ "ancient," and realize it was my own fear motivating that name-calling. If you are in your early 20s, it will be no time until you are 29, and then you will realize in the grand scheme of things, 29 is still a baby.
7. Your best years are not over. My best years have happened, are happening now and are in the future. Every year brings so many "bests"; hopefully, we all find it impossible to define just one time of our lives as the best.
8. I spent a lot of money traveling. I have zero regrets about it. In fact, the only regret I have is that I didn't keep a journal.
9. Flossing actually does matter. Washing your makeup off before passing out... that can be debated.
10. Your exes are not yours. They do not belong to you. Hating their new girlfriend or your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is completely and utterly pointless.
11. I used to think if you forgave someone who cheated on you, you were pathetic and weak. I now see it differently. Forgiveness makes you stronger. Overcoming infidelity can increase your bond, and it cannot. Every situation is different. So before you give advice and spout off at the mouth about how you will murder the person who hurt your friend, try listening.
12. If you really do get better with age, you will find that you have less judgement to give, less comparisons to make and more compassion for every single person you encounter.
13. My siblings mean more to me now than ever before. They genuinely share my triumphs and failures. That kind of support is priceless.
14. As I have realized certain people in my life don't energize me, but enervate me, I find myself walking away from them slowly and without much attention being brought to it. This has been a big lesson.
15. The friends you have had for 15+ years are likely to stay your friends forever. These bonds will come to mean more to you year after year. Their children will be your nieces and nephews. They become your family. Eventually, you come to realize you share more intimate details with your friends than even your significant other... or maybe that is just me?
16. I now find the idea of using a tanning booth to be on par with getting a root canal. All the advice about wearing sunscreen should be heeded and drinking water is more important now than ever before. In fact, I am known to have an irrational fear of being dehydrated.
17. At this point in my life, everyone I know has lost someone they loved. Myself included. Keeping this in mind, I try and treat people a little bit more gently. You really don't ever know what someone is going through.
18. There is no blueprint to life. Some of your friends will get married early, some late and some not at all. Some will make a lot of money and some won't. Some will have five children and some will have none. Some will travel the globe and others may never leave the state. As Nietzsche once wrote, "this is my way, what is your way? THE way does not exist." Try and remember this before you tell your friends how to live their lives. Try not to judge anyone for the way they live their life as well.
19. "How may I serve?" has become my daily walking prayer. "What's in it for me?" sometimes creeps its way in, but I don't judge myself for that. I try not to judge others for it either.
20. I have come to realize that most of the time, people are just doing the best they can. That might not be the best I can or the best I would like them to do, but it's the best they can do. Patience really is a virtue.
21. A relationship, without chemistry, is pointless. If you don't know if your relationship has chemistry or not, it doesn't. I promise you.
22. It has taken me my whole life to realize that I am capable of being kind to the kind, and kind to the unkind, because kindness is MY nature. I heard over and over again growing up "how people treat you is their karma, and how you react is yours." I now react kindly -- at least most of the time.
23. Rudeness does not prove a point. Neither do bitchy attitudes, dirty looks or cursing. An excellent vocabulary proves a point. If you regularly talk about your "haterz" or "all the drama in your life," there is a good chance you are creating both. If you like that sort of thing, carry on.
24. People that are generous when they are poor will be generous when they are wealthy. People who are generous when they are wealthy are people who would be generous when they are poor. That is because generous people have a generous nature. It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with attitude.
25. I have really come to know that what you put out into the world is what you get back. That being said, my interactions with other women are almost always positive, uplifting, supportive, understanding and full of love. I do not find women to be jealous, catty or difficult to get along with. I don't like it when people say "you know how you women are." No, I don't. I know how I am, and I know that the women in my life are supportive beyond measure. End of story.
26. Health is something I have come to value. I took it for granted before. I still enjoy a good bottle of wine or two (to myself) every now and again, but I no longer enjoy how I feel after stuffing my face or skipping exercise. I never thought I would write that last sentence.
27. I now realize that real love isn't easy or simple, at least not for me. It is made up of laughing so hard you cry, embarrassing dance moves, nit-picking, arguments over who started the argument, kisses on the forehead, forgiveness, intimacy, fights, make-ups, home-cooked meals, vacations, anniversaries, pain, ups, downs and everything in between. But that look, that only the two of you share that says nothing and means everything, can still make you weak in the knees and vulnerable beyond measure. Real love is everything all at once right in the gut over and over again.
28. I know now, as I enter my 29th turn around the sun, my final year in the decade of my 20s, that who I am is someone I love, and there is no shame or fear in admitting that.
29. I know now, that change is inevitable. I have changed a thousand times and yet I have always held on to the essence that is me. I know myself. Now more than ever. I can only imagine how I will feel at 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89, 99 and 109. I am so excited for this ride.
Source: Huffington Post
Gratitude
One of the most beautiful videos I've seen.
"You think this is just another day in your life, it's not just another day, it's the one day that is given to you, today, it's given to you. It's a gift, it's the only gift that you have right now"
"The only appropriate response if gratitude."
"Let the gratefulness overflow into blessings around you. Then it will really be a good day."
Be Kind
I'm not the kindest person I know - so this graduation speech by George Saunders hit me in a way other motivating speeches doesn't.
My favourite parts:
My favourite parts:
"When young, we’re anxious – understandably – to find out if we’ve got what it takes. Can we succeed? Can we build a viable life for ourselves? But you – in particular you, of this generation – may have noticed a certain cyclical quality to ambition. You do well in high-school, in hopes of getting into a good college, so you can do well in the good college, in the hopes of getting a good job, so you can do well in the good job so you can….
And this is actually O.K. If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously – as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves.
Still, accomplishment is unreliable. “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended.
So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.
Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Theresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.
And someday, in 80 years, when you’re 100, and I’m 134, and we’re both so kind and loving we’re nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.
Congratulations, Class of 2013.
I wish you great happiness, all the luck in the world, and a beautiful summer."
Full article here
Mount Kinabalu Expedition
I will have to start writing about my climb to Mount Kinabalu before it gets too busy at work! Will be jetting off to China this coming Monday and will be out of town till end of the month.
Better get down to writing this post!
I've always wanted to climb Mount Kinabalu but never really found enough friends who wanted to do it. So when Sarah suggested it during our last class Christmas gathering, I jumped on it! :)
We booked our tour package via Amazing Borneo - I honestly can't remember the full cost but it took care of our lodgings/food/climb (excluding porter fees and other misc. costs) for the 4 days we were there.
This is our accommodation for the first night! It's located some 1,500metres of sea level and a short walk away from the Kinabalu Park Tourist Centre. It's nice and cozy with a huge fireplace, a size-able living room and comes with 3 bedrooms (2 rooms with twin beds and 1 with a queen size). There's no heater in the lodge but it comes with a stable source of hot water (just remember to switch the water heater on 30 minutes before shower)
They gave us so much food - 3 packs per person!
Do grab as much sleep as you can on the night before the first climb. It really makes a difference.
View from our lodge the next morning.
Highly advised to check the weather forecast at the tourist centre before the climb! It always help to be a little prepared (at least mentally).
The lodge provided packed lunch for us (additional weight though!)
My (non-biological) brothers!
Every climber is issued a Kinabalu Park tag - the flip side list your name, group number and date of climb. It is for identification purpose and has to be worn at all times.
All smiles before we start the journey!
That's our guide - Safrey Sumping! We found out eventually that he's a climbathon champion (!!) and one of the best guides any newbie climber could ever ask for :)
After gathering outside the Tourist Centre, you will be whisked off in a van to the starting point which is around 1,800 metres above sea level.
Obviously, we have no idea what brutal stuff we will be going through in a matter of minutes..
Just minutes through the gate, we were greeted by the Climbathon 2012 results board. The top climber is some Spanish dude by the name of Kilian Jornet. 2 hours and 11 minutes???
Madness.
There are 2 trails up to Laban Rata (which is the mid-lodge located at 3,200 metres off sea level). One is through the Timpohon Gate (which is slightly more intense with the quick elevation - 6km trail that brings you up an additional 1,400m in elevation) and another through Mersilau Trail which is a more scenic walk. Both routes eventually will merge at Layang-Layang, which is kilometres away from Laban Rata.
The map noted a rest hut (or Pondek) at every kilometre mark, it really didn't seem so bad. It's only a 6 kilometre trail! I've ran half-marathons, this wouldn't be so bad right?? I was so wrong.
The trail started off with a series of descending steps.
Guides usually double up as porters. The limit is 50kg per porter. So unless your team carries more than that amount of luggage, there's no need for an additional guide. Porter fees are at RM8 per kilogram of luggage, which isn't expensive in my opinion. If you want someone to carry you up, it's RM350 per kilometre. Safrey mentioned he once carried a 80kg man down the mountain because he broke his knee on the way up. :O
The first rest hut - it was relatively easy to reach this one as the first kilometre is still considerably easy and we were still brimming with energy. Every rest hut has a toilet (comes with a flush too!) and a water tank. The water is untreated so do bring along chlorine/purification tablets if you don't wish to carry 3litres of water for your climb.
You can find these little critters at the rest huts as well. They are probably conditioned by climbers over the years so they have no fear of humans. In fact, they can be quite shameless in asking for food. In my case, they blatantly took the banana off my hand when I was lowering it down.
These porters carry anything man.
The female guide of another team of Singaporeans. She was in slippers and climbed faster than all of us!
One thing I appreciate was the clear signage along the way - they have such signs every 500 metres. Sounds a little unnecessary? Not at all because every half a kilometre honestly felt like eternity!
Sitting around at the rest hut too long makes you cold, so it's advisable not to take too long a break. You would want to make it to the next stop as humanly fast as you can. That being said, do pace yourself. If you climb too fast, the altitude sickness will hit you hard before you even realize it. Don't lose your breath either. Due to the thin air, once you lose it, it's hard to get back on track.
That's the legend we met. He's the porter who was carrying 3 bags and still managed to be faster than us. He was always in front! It was inspiring, yet demoralizing at the same time.
This view was before we even hit the 2km mark and we already felt pretty near to the clouds!
That's NOT the summit behind us. Hahaha.
Weird plant bro found along the way.
As you can tell from the photos, I was getting paler as we climbed further up. Breathing became a chore as the air got thinner. We developed a "Paleness Index" for me and had frequent "O Breaks" also known as Oxygen Breaks. Hahaha.
Elevation got more intense as we climbed further. Just 500m on, we are 100m higher in elevation. As we moved further, the groups became wider and wider apart. We were most of the time alone, meeting the occasional climbers who were making their way down (they climbed the previous day).
Steps! Oh how I hate them.
It got more misty as we progressed on and weather became more unpredictable. It was hot, and then it was chilly. There was light showers and then the sun was out again.
I'm surprised we still had the strength to smile! Hahaha.
After around 4 hours, we made it to the 4km mark at Layang-Layang! There were a lot more climbers at this rest spot because it's where the Mersilau Trail and Timpohon Gate merges. It's a larger resting hut as well.
And it certainly came with larger squirrels and rats! They are the same size!
After Layang-Layang, we are only left with 2 kilometres to the lodge. It sounds like a short distance but it took us almost another 5 hours before we reached Laban Rata. The inclination was steeper and air was significantly thinner as well. Throw in the hard work we put in for the first 4 km, we were seriously exhausted.
To top it all off, it started to rain shortly after we left the rest hut. Thank god it was a light shower and didn't last very long.
There were lesser steps and more soil/rocks on the trail now.
Just 500 metres on, the elevation went up by another 150 metres. I could feel myself getting increasingly breathless and every step took herculean effort man.
That's bro trying to keep me awake. My body temperature was actually falling slowly and I didn't realize at all. Apparently all I kept saying was "I really want to sleep" and everytime I tried to doze off, one of them would wake me up.
It started to rain heavily in the last 1 km and I was slowing down significantly by then. I was cold, miserable, extremely tired and completely out of breath. The last 50 metres was a bit of a blur but apparently I was piggy-backed up by my guide because he realized my body temperature was a little too low when he took my gloves off.
View from Laban Rata taken by the bro while I was busy warming myself up by having a hot bath.
Everyone should aim to reach Laban Rata before 8pm or you will have no food to eat. Thankfully despite my snail speed, we managed to reach at around 5 plus pm. There are 2 types of accommodation available at Laban Rata: the private rooms or the common bunk beds.
Private rooms come in sizes that takes 2 or 6 people and they have attached bathrooms. These are the only rooms that have heated water and heater as well. But of course you can only have one at a time - you want the heater, you have to switch off the water heater and vice versa.
We were completely exhausted by the time we finished food and shower. I reckon most of us slept before 9pm. I collapsed into bed way earlier than the rest due to my bout of hypothermia and altitude sickness.
The second part of the climb - to the Summit - takes place in the wee hours of the morning. We were supposed to wake up at 2am, grab supper and be ready to climb by 2.30am. Bro suggested I don't do the Summit climb due to my condition the day before and he was worried it could get worse for me. But I did not crawl to 3,200metres off sea level to give up! I was feeling a lot better after a good night sleep and decided to proceed on with the climb.
All ready for the Summit! Do bring a headlight along for the climb because it's completely dark out there. It was around 4 degrees outside at the time of our climb.
Not a lot of pictures were taken during this climb (mainly because it was raining) but suffice to say it was definitely the most grueling part of the climb. The rocky path up the summit was unforgivably steep. At some points, the level of inclination was almost 80 degrees, with only a rope (and basically your strong hands) separating you between life and death.
The weather was a lot colder and the wind was brutal. Throw in the relentless rain and even thinner air, I had thoughts of giving up too many a times. I was shivering from cold throughout most of the climb (despite wearing thermal + 2 sweaters + ski jacket) and it near to impossible to stay focused. At certain points, I tried to distract myself by counting the number of breaths I take in between each step.
Towards the last 800 metres or so, I was practically taking a break every 5-6 steps. Or rather, I was collapsing. I had not even a single ounce of energy left in me. At that point, I fully understood why some people turned back even when they were so close to reaching the summit.
Thankfully for my amazing climb mates, they kept me going one step at a time :)
I collapsed from cold and altitude sickness about 50metres away from the peak.The guide stopped me from going any further as he deemed it too dangerous and mentioned the view is essentially the same.
GAH. So there goes my chance of taking photo with the famed board at 4,095m! Nonetheless, glad the rest of them made it there! :)
Look how shagged and cold everyone looked! (with exception to Phyllis and Shaun though).
We made our way down thereafter as it was freakishly cold and I was getting increasingly dizzy as well from the altitude.
The way down was a lot of pain as well although I must say it was a lot less stressful because we didn't have a time limit to hit! Hahaha. We met Uncle Ler, his friend and Vince (all from Singapore!) on the way down.
After we descended and made our final payment for porter's fees, we bid Safrey goodbye and got our certs! Although I miss the summit by around 50m, Safrey mentioned he admired my spirit and determination to climb despite hypothermia and 2 days of altitude sickness. Yay! Amazing Borneo was thoughtful enough to provide a folder for the certificate as well. From my knowledge, other agencies only provide the certificate.
I'm guarding this with my life man.
After bidding farewell to Uncle Ler, his friend and Vince, we headed off to our homestay place. It's a nice cozy 2-story house that faces the mountain.
We froze a little when we saw stairs. Hahaha.
We pretty much crashed right after dinner. It's nice to have warm water and heater again - and knowing you can sleep all you want through the night and not waking up in the wee hours to scale more heights.
It rained throughout the night, with winds howling right outside the window. Despite the less than desirable weather, we still woke up to an amazingggg view.
I could live here forever.
Due to the heavy downpour, our transport ran into a landslide and was severely delayed. By the time, we reached the airport, the plane has taken off without us! As direct flights back to Singapore was infrequent, we decided to fly back via Kuala Lumpur. It was such a stressful journey home, running across airports and ensuring we don't miss another flight!
You have no idea how relieved we were when we finally made it to the KL-SG flight.
Despite the random hiccups along the way, this trip has got to be one of the most memorable trips I had in recent years.
I had learnt a lot of things from this hike. When we were climbing up the mountain, we were exposed to the spirit of comradeship. Some of the climbers were complete strangers to us, but they never held back when assistance was needed. Uncle Ler who passed me his trekking stick and oxygen can because "You need it more than I do". He had knee problems himself but he did not hesitate at all in sharing the limited supplies he had. The Austrian guy who offered me his jacket, chocolates and water when I was all frozen up near the summit. The French couple who hugged me very tightly on my way down because I was shivering from cold. Vince (new found friend from Singapore!) who offered me a new pair of gloves and heat packs when mine was wet (and turned cold) from grabbing the wet ropes on the way up. Margaret, our homestay host, for preparing warm and delicious food for us. I loved how she shed light on now that we have surpassed ourselves physically and mentally to overcome a mountain, we can also strengthen ourselves spiritually to cross the hurdles in our lives. Last but not least, I'm immensely grateful for the wonderful climb mates I found in the form of my JC classmates! Not only were they completely patient with me at my snail speed points, they were also extremely motivating in the most trying times of the climb.
This trip has changed me and I hope this experience helps to make me a better person.
I can't wait to plan more trips with these folks already! :)
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