Wat is life about?

Yesterday had a meeting wif my prof. Supposed to brief me on my TA stuff for him, but coz I was early, we ended up tokking bout each other.

He told me about his early life working in a Bank and was appalled at how boring everything was. How he eventually moved on to becoming a consultant and eventually prof. His wife works in a bank as well. 30 yrs! Wow. Fascinating. Muz be a capable worker :)

I dunno. I was telling him how SMU students really want to be high flyers life straight after university. I told him I dowan to start off a high-flyer. I wanna work my way up. To me, it's more stable. I wun feel like I am being shoved a 89 inch pizza into my 4 inch wide mouth and end up having indigestion and having to puke everything out.

He looked at me and luffed. Interesting, he says. He told me, life isn't all bout money and status. And he mentioned the article written by one of the SMU pple on being a millionaire by the time he was 25 or smth. Hahaha..He says it's really good to have such drive but try to bring it to extremes. Wat's the pt of working ur ass off during the early life and getting sick of working by the time u r 30? He told me jokingly that he had hoped the guy who wrote the article had wrote it tongue in cheek and tt he wasn't exactly serious bout it. Oh well, I guess pple who worked half of their life in a corporate world and pple who haven really seen the working life, holds different perspective of things.

My cousins always tell me. Dun view wealth and status too heavily, it can ruin u. My cousins are mostly high-flyers. Doctors, specialists, former Vice CFO of SPH, bankers, accountants...blah blah...worked their ass off recieving their 6 figure pay check and only to run out of drive and will to work at the age of 30. Rat race, they say. Can burn ur passion rite off in the long run.

I dunno, to me rite now, being part of the rat race seemed...necessary. It;s like if you dun choose to be part of it, u r being left behind. Happiness can wait, relaxation can wait, but wealth and success nv waits. That was the way I lived since young. I feared failure, I feared bad grades, I feared bad comments, I feared criticisms of my work. I lived my life carefully, and refuse to let pple find fault wif me. I lived most of my childhood and teenage yrs tis way.

Honestly, it was vv vv tiring. i can haf 10 pple telling me, "hey not bad. Ur chinese paper got 96 marks in the finals. u beat tt china boy". But one person says:" wat happened to the 4 marks? y din u get it?" my world just..plummet..hahaha..tt was the kind of life i had back then. vv restrictive, vv serious.

I remembered I flopped my Sec 2 streaming quite lousily and din get into the top Science class. I went into the Maths class instead. I remembered my teacher telling me, " pls, ur grades r so terrible, y dun u just prepare urself for poly? JC is too far for u" I was shattered,really, coz none of my cousins were in poly. And I felt so scared. I worked vv hard and went to JC with 8 pts. I din let myself relax. When my history teacher in JC told us:"our grades can nv make it for A levels", my history grade surged from 'F' to a 'C' in 5 mths. and then A in A levels. U can say I have a 'nv-say die- perseverance, u can say i m afraid of failure, well, tt is true..hahaha!

Now I do tk things more lighter. If I dun score well, I try again. In the past, if I scored badly, I can sulk for an entire week, or even a whole month. I will mope ard the house like I lose the most precious possessions in my life..hahaha..

My sis hate it when I do tt. She says only losers will sulk. Winners dun sulk. Winners fall down and climb up straight away. Only losers will sulk and sit on the floor and climb up when the rest of the world has reached the destination. Oh well, my sister is a vv philosophical and relaxed person. Nth hits her, nth gets her. If she fail, she do it again. I always feel vv useless when something i do , goes wrong. but she always tell me:" nv tie ur abilities to ur value as a human being. Ur value as a human being has nth to do with how many As u can score in ur life or how much money u can make."

In the face of her words:"I can always say 'wow'" hahaha..she say I haf a disease to please pple. And she's rite. Looking back, none of the hard work i put in, was exactly for myself. Y did i wanna score well? Coz my mum will b proud of me. Y did I do tt? Becoz other pple will praise me.

My sis always say:" everyone on this planet haf a rite to gif comments. u do tis, some one will say smth. u do tt, another one will object it. U can nv please everyone on the earth. U only haf urself to answer to. You answer to no one but urself, ok? Comments are free in this world, and everyone can gif. u can't possibly please everyone. At the end of the day, u will b the on suffering, not them. Be true to urself, u will b happier. Really"

How inspiring..aaha..

**Quote of the day**: If life is a 100%, 1 represents the health of ur mind and body, the 2 zeros will represent wealth and status. Without health, everything else in life returns to zero.

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