Triple D

Today, I experienced Depression, Disappointment and Disgust.

All in a day's of work.

Today (or rather judging by the time, yesterday) was a shiteous day. I seriously hope you had a better one than me.

Why am I not surprised that my boss has extended my probation again? I nodded when he told me that. He went on to list about me being prone to mistakes (i.e repeating like a broken record about the mistakes I made donkey months ago) and blah. Midway through the conversation, he made a call to HR, requesting that the senior manager sits in and listen.

I agreed readily. We got down to one of the meeting rooms and the review session started.

His attacks went on. Sad to say, I succumbed to the insults and attacks. I cried. The HR manager was taken aback and rush out for tissue. My boss just couldn't be bothered.

Same old things he said since the last review. The most cutting comment was "Don't oversell on things that you haven't prove to be able to do. I inquired about your quality of work at your previous workspace and you are at best average." That cut like shit. He went on that "Your previous employers may stroke your feathers and tell you you are good when actually you are not. I can tell you now I won't do that!"

That killed something within me. I've been in close contact with all my managers and directors in the previous 2 firms and all of them can vouch they have never made any of such comments to a certain high level in my company or have they made any of such remarks. They were delighted and loved my work when I was with them. These are the people who have pledged recommendation letters and as reference points for my interviews. They all have concluded something: that my boss is deranged. And the possibility of him making up stories to smear my name might just be true.

I never knew people could be this nasty. I thought he was bad. Now he's just outright vile, and I can't even respect him anymore.

One of my favourite managers called.

"Please, I wish I could beg you to leave. Don't let him instill fear in you. Leave. There is a better boss and job out there for you. You are being psychologically harassed everyday. It upsets me you are putting yourself through this."

Friends called, ex-colleagues called, when they realized my probation has been extended again. It's time like this, the only thing I could rejoice was I have so many people, friends and ex-colleagues included, rooting for me.

I'm exhausted. Emotionally, psychologically, physically. You name it. I am. I don't know what's holding me back from throwing in that letter. Maybe it's what they call - 我就是不甘心.

The light at the end of the tunnel is, the SVP of HR has appointed another lady to appraise me as well - she's the manager from the Hotel side. She told me very upfront during lunch, that she is very positive I will have no issues passing probation. Just whether I want to continue working under someone like him. I will also be reporting to another director for my current projects for the time-being. HR arrangement, and I can't be more thankful than that. The less I see of my boss, the better it is.

Oh good lord. Please save me. And bless me. I need to pull through this.

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:47 AM

    Lynn:

    Oh dear, crap that's a horrible person there. I will say the same thing. Please leave.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wanna come to Batam with me This saturday for a break? We'll go in the morning and come back evening :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8:17 PM

    Damn it seriously. There's nothing to hold on anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8:17 PM

    Sorry that was me Matt.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1:53 PM

    This is terrible. I thnk it's time to really think about if this is all worth it

    - Lina

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous3:45 PM

    Either ask for a transfer, or leave the company. Don't put yourself through this. It's not worth it.

    - Chris Z

    ReplyDelete
  7. i dun understand if u were really that bad ..
    why would he want to keep extending u ?
    just end it right.

    weird boss.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks everyone for the love!!!! :) I need all the luck and support :))

    ReplyDelete

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